College is this really weird in-between stage of growing up and still wanting your parents to do stuff for you.

I love the freedom of not having a curfew or going into Manhattan whenever I want. At the same time, part of me still wants my mom to cancel an appointment for me because I am afraid the receptionist will get mad at me.

I thought being a freshman in high school was awkward.

But the thing I have been having trouble with the most lately is the reality of how I want to grow into an adult.

What do I want to do with my life?

What kind of person am I going to be?

And must ominous, What am I most passionate about?

I know I have plenty of time to figure this out, but that seems too much like a crutch.

I look around, and some students have their sh*t together, who are already on their way towards being successful.

And then some students wear sweatpants 24/7 and pride themselves in how fast they can finish an entire series on Netflix.

Not gonna lie, I lean more towards wanting to have my sh*t together.

I’m the kind of person that likes being in control of my life. I like having a game plan, and right now I feel like I am taking things day by day and going through the motions of life.

I know I really enjoy art, fashion, music, and social justice issues. But, I don’t even know where to go with these passions or how to apply them to my life.

This I guess is what this blog is evolving into. A blog about a lost college student who likes a lot of things but does not know what liking those things mean. This blog is going to get a lot more random, but the hope is through this process I will figure it out.

I have a friend who really has his sh*t together. I envy him, and I started asking him how he figured it out, how he knew what he was passionate about.

He said just to start somewhere.

So, here I am I am “starting” in the middle of my cafeteria with my honest journey into adulthood. Part of me still wants to run back home, but the other part of me is energized by the plethora of opportunities. To my fellow college students reading this blog, we are in this together.